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DIVORCE:
Tragically, divorce within the church is at a rate equal to the world's rate of failed marriages.
This is more than in indictment against the individuals who are party to the failures, it is an
indictment against the churches of our land for their failures to be the stalwart protectors of
marriages!
We by no means are shifting the ultimate responsibility for divorce away from the individuals, but
we are brining focus to bear on the fault of the clergy and congregations alike for NOT fulfilling
their responsibilities which would aid in diminishing divorce rates, primarily by disallowing
incorrect marriages to be entered into to begin with!
It has only been in the most recent decade that marriage mentoring has come to the forefront of the
battle for our marriages and still, pastors are too willing to bend to the emotional pressure
brought on by the intended couple and their families. I have seen it happen far too many times that
a pastor spends absolutely NO SERIOUS TIME in pre-marital mentoring nor in post-ceremony mentoring
at all! One pastor even told me that it doesn't do any good to insist on these things because the
couple will just find someone who will marry them and he would rather that they be married in a
church than in a court house!
Imagine that! As if conducting a ceremony in a church building somehow places some "magical" seal
of protection around the marriage! Well, saints, according to our own divorce rates, that attitude
has certainly been proven to be wrong! What has been needed, and is now beginning to be instituted
within the Church, is a new, pro-active attitude for setting the stage for success! My wife and I
have been involved in marriage mentoring since 1988, and I absolutely will not perform a marriage
ceremony for a couple unless and until they undergo a 6 week marriage mentoring course with me! The
little bit of money I may receive for a ceremony is little comfort against the dismay of God
against me for yielding to the pressures of passion that is likely to result in a failed
marriage!
However, even if the Church had been taking this approach for the last generations, divorce would
still occur within our Body. People will still fail and fall to temptation, people will still be
self-serving, people will still be self-destructive and people will still be playing church when
they are only lost sinners! Saints will still be driven by passions and desires and for all of this
and more, divorce will still happen.
So then, what of the minister who has suffered divorce? What of the minister who was a major cause
of the divorce? What of the minister who was the primary cause of the divorce?
Here is the dilemma. A man can be a confessed, convicted murderer, genuinely repent and then be
allowed to follow God's call of ministry and still be ordained. A woman can be a confessed,
convicted child abuser, truly repent and then be allowed to follow God's call of ministry and still
be ordained. A person can be an on fire for God, Bible thumping, hard hitting saint of God who
falls into temptation, backslides, becomes a drunk and a drug abuser, then by God's grace and mercy
become a thoroughly repentant, cleansed, restored saint and then be allowed by men to follow God's
call of ministry and become ordained.
So then, what is different about divorce? God hates it? Yes He does! God hates sin - all manner of
sin! Homosexuality is an abomination! Yet a person who has been leading a double life, going to
church, married, finally confesses to be a homosexual BUT THEN becomes born again and his/her life
genuinely changes and becomes a person of God's declared design for sexual activity with a spouse
... is allowed then to follow God's call into ministry and is ordained!
So if the one is an abomination for which there is redemption and the other is only hated (somewhat
less than abominable), why is the divorced man/woman treated as if they have committed an
unpardonable sin? What's worse, what if they were divorced because their spouse was the one who is
primarily to blame and the one left behind was divorced against his/her will? In many cases these
are all lumped into one category of being UNUSABLE!
As far as I have ever been able to find, and I have spent over 30 years studying the Bible, there
is only ONE UNFORGIVABLE SIN! All other sin is able to be forgiven! So it is in this
case!
Actually, as tragic as divorce is, it is a forgivable sin! Not cheap forgiveness! Not a fast and
easy pathway back into position of ministry ... but it is, like all other sin, forgivable and
pardonable!
If you have been through the tragedy of divorce, we do not automatically disqualify you for
this.
Be prepared: We do, however, ask for an explanation and in this we look for evidence of present
righteousness. We do not ask you to "re-live" the tragedy nor do we ask you to share the sordid
details. We will ask for a general explanation of what led to the divorce and in this we will seek
to determine how you dealt with your responsibility in the situation, or, how you now deal with
your responsibility about the situation.
If you are able to do this, then please, register for a credentials application and we will be glad
to move forward with you!
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